White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
