I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
