Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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