i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
