apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
