im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
