i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
