He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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