Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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