Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
