Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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