he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
