Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
