the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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