Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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