He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
