How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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