i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
