oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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