You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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