I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
