is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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