Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
