It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
