White coat. Heels.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
