We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
