Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
