My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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