is your mom at the bar?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
