Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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