he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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