My sheets look like a crime scene.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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