Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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