Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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