she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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