hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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