it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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