He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
babies were throwing up all over the place
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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