I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
