This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Damn victory sex feels great
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