good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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