I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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