So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
