I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
