He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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