Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize