Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
