CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
