i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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