she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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