24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
