I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
