she is the kim kardashian of front butts
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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