Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
