im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
