Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
