Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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