My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
