maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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