capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?