I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.