we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.