he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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