have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked