didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
