thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
