Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize