dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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